em, well...

Here's the thing about farming... it's not horribly interesting, and the fact of the matter is that like everything else, 'in theory' is different than in practice.

We lost a bunny. Found it, and then it died in a storm. Too much for it's poor heart, we reckon.

The goats have been eating everything--the cherry tree, the garden, etc. :)

We added some turkeys to our chickens, and we have not lost one chicken! The turkeys are more alert, and warn the chickens of intruders. YEA!

The ducks are still here. We found that a cheap baby pool works wonders for the pool situation. We had been plugging a hole in the sandbox for the winter.

The key, I think, is to find what works now. Not that you should slap something together, and make it work, but we find that we have grand ideas for the future, and not such good ones for now. Although it seems like a waste of time to put a lot of effort into what we currently have, it's not, not really. These chickens need something now. While it's only going to last a year, hey, that's a year. And in the life of a chicken, it's practically a lifetime! :)

So, as in life, farming is learning.

And lots of hard, satisfying work. :)

Part 1 of 4: 'chased around' and 'figuring out a plan'

Tory came down to help me butcher. And celebrate Ben's birthday :) :) :). Ben was able to help, if he wanted to, but he opted to go see Grandma. :) We reviewed the article one more time, and headed out. No table, since the one we used before was smushed into the ground by the trailer roof. No worries, Tory backed her car up to the fence posts we decided would work. (We also went on a treasure hunt and found blue nylon rope and 2 S-hooks.) Re-taught Tory how to do a slip-knot ;) and caught the first two broilers. Tory got the first one's head off before I brought the second one out. I stood back a bit while she killed the second one, and threw it. At me. I ran back, and it chased me. I zigged right, as did it. I circled to the left, and it did, too. For waaaay longer than it ever should, a headless chicken chased me around the yard. Once it finally fell over, and we caught our breath--me from running, and Tory from laughing, we hung it up, and dove in. There are more feathers than you'd think, and I am ashamed to say that Pampered Chef Forged Cutlery, while a fine kitchen knife, are not a good butchering knife. They got the job done, though, I am happy to say. :)

Not a 'wing' person myself, I was content to not even mess with them, but Eric does, so we tried. No. Maybe next time, but we did not get the wings this go-round. Tory is creepily good at carving out the breasts, and I am really good at... well, I'll tell you later. ;) Other than nicking the intestines and ruining a thigh (me) things went pretty well!

The 'french doors' was by far the best tip--it really does!!!

Part 2 of 4: comeuppance and another one of my scream attempts.

Doing pretty good, now that we knew what we were doing, the next ones went pretty fast. #5 and #6 were... okay, so Tory has said this before, but this time, as she was cutting out the breast she says (again) "I HATE it when the muscles twitch!" To which I poo-poo-ed her, saying she's a weenie, and then, I made my first cut. *twitch* *scream attempt* what was that?!?!?! I went to cut again, and it happened again! Tory, is laughing so hard, she's had to stop working on the chicken, and made mention of something about comeuppance. I get around the middle and top (we have them upside down) with a few more twitching and scream attempts while Tory laughs when I reached in and felt... ba-bump. ITS HEART JUST WENT BA-BUMP!!!!! "Cool!" Now, not only does Tory work in the ER, she loves it and, really, belongs there. I flash to the time she was allowed to touch the instruments that were *with reverence* just inside of and touching someone's heart! (This is really a good thing, that she loves what she does--it means that you don't have to. :) "Fine, stick your fingers in there, and maybe it'll beat for you." She was over before I finished saying 'your'. :) Nothing. I cut along the bottom, touching it as little as possible, and as quickly as possible, grabbing onto as I made the final cut-- ba-bump. AAAAA!!! While I shake my fingers, trying to get the feeling off, Tory is pouting (while she's trying to reach in and touch it's heart) because it just won't do it for her--she finally gave it a squeeze (I think) because it gave one last beat! A kid in a candyshop with a whole dollar to spend had nothing on her.

Part 3 of 4: out-witted by a rooster?!? and 'I did it!'

Down to one broiler. And she's laying an egg. :) I took the blue-nylon ties and headed over to the sheds, to get the roosters. Since we had originally planned on taking out 4 of these chickens and 8 of the ducks, I had not let them out for the day. One rooster on the chicken side, and one on the duck side. (They apparently did not get the memo, or they just do not care--probably that one. :) Fine. Blue nylon on the ledge, and chase the rooster around the duck's area. A few to many times. :) I got him, got the 'rope' on his feet, tightened, and knotted! Out the door we go-- and up onto a nail, while I get ready to catch the other rooster. At the door of the chicken's side, I happen to glance up and watch the rooster pull a total Jackie Chan--he purposefully, and with force, bent his legs and shoved off the side of the shed with his wings, as he came off of the wall, he straighted his legs with a swoop, and the rope came up and off of the nail. He landed, on his feet, and took off towards the field. Cows. (this is our swearing--it was not quite a bucket of cows, but it was close!) Fine. Whatever. I totally just got bested by my supper. Fine. I still have the other nylon rope, and the other rooster is still stuck in this area! After a few times around this side, I caught him, got the rope around him, and headed out the door. I heard a noise--and went to investigate. Somehow, Jackie got the one side off, and caught it on a nail. HA! Um... what to do with this rooster?? I let him go, figuring I could catch him easily enough (okay, honestly? I was pissed at Mr. Chan, and saw an opportunity and acted before I thought it through all the way.) Now, he is actually out in the field, under the fence and out a good 8 inches. I got up to the fence, reached underneath as he pecked away at the rope still around his foot. He got the knot undone, but he would not out-smart me!! What he has around his leg is a slip knot!!! Almost there... got it! I triumphantly pulled the rope towards me... as the rooster ran off into the field. He'd gotten his just before I got mine. Fine. Whatever. I have another rooster... up here somewhere... that I can't catch!!! TORY!!!! I NEED YOU!!! Well, we did not catch either of the roosters. We went back up to the chicken coop, (yes, leaving the rope on the one rooster--he had gotten one of them off by this time) and I started getting the knees off of the legs on the car. (Tory is AWESOME at getting the breast off, but I'm better at the knees... we are man-y parts... :) :) :) Talking, figuring out the next thing, what time it is, etc., when we heard a noise. HA! Now THAT rooster is caught! "I'll go get him" Tory says. I am not sure exactly what all happened with her, but I went in and got the last broiler. I set her head down onto the brick, and stepped on her neck. I figured all I had to do was pull, so I did a YANK! and threw the body. With the head still attached, and headed at top-hop for the trees. Oops. Well, not to get into gory details, but I did get her head off, by myself, got her hung up just about the time Tory came back empty-handed. :) So, I did it! And I know I can do it again, and I am sure there is a better way! As we were finishing up, the guy that has cows in the back pasture came up... and stood around chatting while we finished up. :) Not phased at all by the surgical scrubs on us, or the chicken bits in the pot. He even offered to have me come help when they butchered hogs later this year. YES!!!

Part 4 of 4: the car and a flashback

Well, needless to say, using the car as a table was ingenious, or was it? Let's look back; killed the chickens and threw them... wiped off gunk into towel... yea, Tory's car needed a bath! No, it was not probably the best idea to use her car as a table, but it was very convenient. This car has come in handy the whole time! When Tory arrived, we were eating supper, then they played Candyland, while I put the animals away. When I got back, there was a commotion at the tree.
"There's something attacking the dogs!" With various babbling, and incoherent running around, Ben helped me find the bullets, and I got the guns. Unfortunately, when I have gone shooting with Eric, he's the one in charge, and he does all of that stuff. "Tory!?! which gun do these go to?" "I don't know!!!!" She kept asking where the flashlights were. (Too high for her, but that is beside the point, I was on a mission for a gun!) She finally took matters into her own hands, and pulled her car around, shining the headlights on the fray. Meanwhile, Ben really wants to help, so I grab two pans, and spatulas (Pampered Chef Execuitive 10" Skillet, and the 10" Saute Pan, with Bamboo Spatulas ;) handed one set to Ben, and banged away as I walked towards the dogs and raccoon. Oh, it was a raccoon. :) Gunner came from the side, the distractor, while Kodiak watched for her opportunity to get in there and kill the thing---finially, she made her move, and grabbed the raccoon around the throat, while Gunner ran around, yipping, and nipping at it. In the meantime, I have a cow femur in my hand, asking "Where's the bat?" Because, I gotta tell you, even though this bone is a good 12-15 inches long, that is waaay too close to some teeth and claws for me! Ben had grabbed a length of wood (not a bat ;) and was right behind me. :) Once it stopped moving, Tory offered to run it over with her car. :) So, what a few days! Raccoon attacks, Candyland, butchering, bee sting. How did Tory put it? There is never a dull moment at the Kilpatrick house!

Some days. :)

where have I been?

In a word: Hiding.

The broilers are still alive. There, now you know ;)

The chickens are down to 10, ducks at 12, and broilers at 7.

For now.

:)

Duck EGGS!!

The ducks have started laying eggs--three days ago, to be exact. One on Tues., one on Wed., and THREE today! Unfortunately, they are laying them in wet poo, so we haven't eaten any yet. As soon as it stops raining today, we'll start the nesting boxes for them. (Tip: have nesting boxes ready BEFORE they start laying ;)